michael pollak

the speed of mess

gesetze der entropie. erinnert mich an einen prof. der von den gesetzen der thermodynamik geredet hat, und das gesetz der entropie als “kinderzimmergesetz” bezeichnet hat.

Calculating the Speed of Mess

•  K_#= The number of kids playing in the room

•  K_A= The average age of K_#

•  K_B1= Is one of K_# a boy between ages 6 and 13? Enter 1 for yes and 0 for no.

•  K_B2= Enter age of boy between 6 and 13. These are the planet’s messiest beasts.

•  F= Fodder: Generally, how much junk (toys, clothes, books, reptiles, etc.) does your child’s room contain?

•  N= In days, the newness of any single game, toy, or book

•  P_E= Parental energy: 1-10 with 1 being “new baby” and 10 being “methamphetamines”

•  P_S= Parental strictness: 1-10 with 10 being Sir, yes sir! and 1 being Duuuude!

•  T= In Fahrenheit, the temperature outdoors (add 25 “degrees” for sleddable snow)

•  S= Storage: 1-10 with 10 being wire bins to the ceilings and ample closet space and 1 being bare, padded room (though let me also point out the usefulness of the latter)

•  C= Percentage of occupied time in which K are using a computer, TV, game console or other screen-based entertainment

SOM is the square feet per hour that your kids’ room will collect mess that precludes passage. Max for three, 10-year-old boys with no storage, lax, exhausted parents and lots o’ stuff is 85.33 ft^2/hr and min for one, 17-year-old with strict, energetic parents, with little stuff and ample storage (on a nice day, etc.) is 0.21 ft^2/hr.